thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize
