I can tuck mytits in my pants
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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