Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
