Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
