but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
