Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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