It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
