Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Randomize
