At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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