I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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