I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
