dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
