Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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