And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
