well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Randomize
