Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Sext me about skeletons
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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