He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
