Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
