I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i dont even know how to be here
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
