Got a toothbrush?
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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