Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
