we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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