I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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