i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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