We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
