Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
May the power of my ass compel you!!
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
