I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
