just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
