ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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