Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
