Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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