i just had sex bonerless
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You pole danced in your parka.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
