why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I can't trust your balls anymore.
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