i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
