Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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