Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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