I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
