I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
