Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Randomize
