Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Do you have feelings for this penis?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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