69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
