She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
