did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
