i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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