The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Ketchup is God's man juice
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I still have a little drunk in my system
COCAINE IS GR8
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
