Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
