I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
