i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
MIDGETS
????
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
