thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Just invented taco cereal.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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