Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
How external is "for external use only"?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
