whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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