They have a pepper shaker for pot.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
