We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
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