butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
